Received 6 Apr:

Dear Pendragon,

The whole affair is really an open question. To take any position is not truth. All viewpoints are true or false depending on your perspective. I could take the perspective that I was abused within my Siddha Yoga experience. My time there was extensive, soul searching and at times heart wrenching. On the other hand I can take responsibility for what happened and move on.

There is obviously something amiss in that organization. Any sensitive person cannot miss it. It really seems to be like some kind of spiritual dictatorship.

In 1986 when the great Nityananda upheaval was going on, I searched my soul for answers. All around me all kinds of idiots were running around telling me that I had to choose between Nityananda and Gurumayi.(and their respective followers) The witch hunt was on!

I decided to consult the I-Ching oracle about what the heart of the whole matter really was. The answer that I received consistently several times was # 61, INNER TRUTH(CHUNG FU).

This brings me to the point. I don't buy the SYDA point of view and I am glad that you are applying a little fire to their backsides but I can't support your viewpoint either. You published an excerpt from a book entitled "The Bliss of Freedom" by Master Charles. What you published dealt specifically with Muktananda's sexual activities. I feel that you used it out of context to support your point of view.

After reading what you had to say on the Net, I went out and immediately bought the book. Far from being a scathing account and criticism of Muktananda, I believe it is a true expression of a disciples love for his teacher. Master Charles went on to acheive enlightenment. Paradoxically Master Charles (Vivekananda),became a bad guy in SYDA circles in later years. I still remember the disclaimer that they published in Siddha Path magazine and how someone in the video department edited his face out of a video.

Master Charles also deals with the whole question of sexuality and spirituality in his book. He seems to have come to peace with himself over the issue. What's wrong with the rest of us?

Using that part of the book out of context is the same as SYDA editing Nityananda videos to find the parts which "incriminated" him.

I would like to end with a quote from the book. Master Charles is quoting Muktananda. "Always remember this," he said one day. "Wherever human beings gather together, there is separation, comparison, judgement, and delusion. It is only an illusion within the play of conciousness, and if you remain a truthfully aware witness you are forever free."

Something for everyone to think about.....

Take care




You say: "to take any position is not truth". What kind of mumble jumbo is this? Sounds like you can't look at the truth yourself. You say you can either know as you say "I was abused within my SY experience" OR "..I can take responsibility for what happened and move on". Why can't you do both? Why does one erase the other? If you think taking a stand against abuse (emotional, financial, physical and sexual) is somehow non-spiritual, I have to ask what are you trying to avoid in your real life?

If you need the abuse of SY to be "an open question" I guess you are not ready to accept the painful reality of the disappointment that comes with opening your eyes.

In the same light it seems you can't take a stand about Muktananda's sexual abuse of women. I assume you are a women from your tone (it doesn't really matter of course). Are you saying that I should NOT take a stand of the sexual abuse of Muktananda towards the teen girls and the adult women? Have YOU ever been abused? I guess not.

You have issue with my quoting ex swami Vivekananda. You dare compare me to SY? What a joke. The purpose of this web site is more than show people the whole picture about SY; not to promote another self proclaimed Guru, regardless of how well you think his book was written.

I am disgusted with your quote that Vivekananda used from Muktananda. It would appear that you don't want to deal with reality, rather you would prefer to live in your fantasy constructed world of what you think spiritually is.


Received 9 Apr:

Pendragon, Pendragon,

I believe the target has been hit. So much anger! Your response is so full of righteousness and way out of proportion to what I wrote. You are not going to save the world kid. So nasty. Cool it . Take a break! Too serious!

Ahhhh! Who the hell cares about my opinion or your opinion. You don't seem to like me very much...but it's OK. You can like me or hate me but I will always love you and that is it. Curse me. Write this and that. Dig up the darkest dirt. Love can absorb anything. It has no limit! None!

I love you

Take care



Angry? You haven't seen anything! Your email does not deal with any of my comments. Rather it seems you would rather get into some sort of love conquers all crap than deal with the painful realities of abuse. I'd prefer being in touch with my feelings and being honest with myself any day.

You Love Me? What kind of co-dependant crap is that? You don't know me and you're trying to tell me how I feel about you after one email exchange?

What are you really trying to do here? Obviously you have no interest in dealing with the hard realties of life as described by those who have suffered due to being in SY. So you see some 'darkness' here at this site. It makes you so uncomfortable that you need to send me an email so you can feel better about yourself. Once again you can pontificate and show how accepting and loving you are to the world. And maybe you will make a difference. How lonely and miserable you must be to have to even bother trying to engage me in a personal interaction based on some perverted sense of love.