Received 22 Apr:

I've only just recently become aware of some very disturbing items about Siddha Yoga and the conduct of Baba and Gurumayi. Were do I go from here? While I am secure enough to continue along the spiritual path without the Guru I feel somewhat betrayed and angered by what I've read. Of course I don't want it to be true. Life can be very sweet serving the Guru. I determined a long time ago that if the stories I'd heard reference to ever contained anything about sex with minors then that was the line that I would not/could not accept. I find out that Baba crossed that line and now it's time for me to let go of a community that means so much to me, an ideal, a Guru whom I loved unconditionally. A path that could be so wonderful. How does one let go of this?

I look forward to your reply.





I have received your emails and am attaching the O Guru article. Yes, it is probably the most important document that discusses the problems in SY. It is unsettling to have to face these problems, but I've always believed I'd rather know the truth than not. SY is so invested in it's image and having people follow with questioning. They do not want you to read this article or other stories about peoples problems past and present in SY.

Any organization (or person) will have problems. People are not perfect. The question because how serious are those problems and how does the organization deal with the problems. Do they deny them? Do they lie about them? SY does. As a result you have a system that is very dysfunctional (like a dysfunctional family) where open discussion is NOT supported. Recently SY has sent staff to centers and ashrams around the world for "damage control". These staff were there to meet with individuals who might be having problems being in SY and meet with them individually (it's easier to control the outcome individually than in a group).

The other real problem in SY is the that everyone believes that Chidvilas is perfect. That all she does and says is perfect. I was in SY when Muktananda was alive. After he died, she and the brother were then new Gurus. We were told that they were Siddha Gurus and that all they did and said was perfect. If we didn't like or understand something they said or did, it was our problem in poor understanding. With Nity's leaving, as a result of his sexual activities with other women, it became clear that the Guru was not perfect. If you read the 3/23/86 message from SYDA (in the article section) you will see that Chid wanted Nity to stay on. She pressed him to stay when he wanted to leave! What kind of enlightenment is that??? Why would she want him to stay? Because his leaving would show that he was not what they said he was. It was all about image! It was this issue that bothered me for years. I eventually went to the ashram and wrote a note to Chid expressing my concerns and confusion. I really wanted to understand. I wasn't looking for problems - but I could no longer ignore the glaring inconsistencies. Chid sent one of her secretaries to talk to me. She actually said that NEITHER Chid or Nity were realized when Muktananda died and Nity couldn't "hold the energy" but that Chid did and eventually became enlightened. I didn't appreciate the ramifications of this statement. I still wanted to believe. The truth was that SYDA, Chid and Nity all lied to us for years by saying they were Siddha Guru's Perfected Beings, not capable of making mistakes. Hmmm. Why did they need to lie? I think they were afraid people would leave. Well, people did leave. Not only was the leaving of Nity a mess, but the way the ashram dealt with it (and continued to deal with it my harassing him - until the publication of the O Guru article).

It can be a difficult time, coming to the realization that what you believed in, so passionately, may in fact be flawed. It takes time and support. Spirituality does not need to end, but one's belief in a flawed system does.

I wish you well on your search and would welcome any discussions.

Warm regards,