A Special Welcome to the Watchers

I would like to extend a special welcome to you, the Watchers. You are those special SY devotees who are strong enough to read the trash that is on this web site, take notes, report back AND not get disturbed by any of it. You are a hardy crew that deserves a chosen thanks. Since you are reading it, the regular devotees will not have to be distracted. So, let all the devotees know that they are being taken care of, by you and that they should not worry themselves. They are not strong enough to wallow through the garbage that it here. But you are! After all it is just maya (or is it Shiva?) that will distract them.

And of course, you know that none of this is true. That each and every story, written by people who used to be just like you, are lying. The people are making up gossip and spreading it around. The disappointment and abuse they have suffered is simply a result of having lost their devotion to the guru. But you have no doubts, do you? What did you do with your doubts? Likely the same thing that everyone else here tried, for many months and years before coming to the inevitable conclusion. Just do that japa, let your mind watch your mind, think of that last special darshan you had with Chidvilasananda, that last glance she gave you, that all knowing look....quick think of that now so you will not have to feel the pain and the anguish of those teen aged girls being raped by Muktananda. Those innocent girls wanting to please their master as he tears their vagina placing his penis in them. It's a nasty job, but someone has to read this, and you are it.

Yes, think of those moments of ecstasy after an all night chant when the round hits the crescendo and the room is bathed in love and shimmering light, think of those moments when you've meditated in the cave for an hour and it seems like it was just a second in time, think of those moments when everything goes just right and you have no more judgements about yourselves or others and then maybe you can handle the abuse that was directed towards Nityananda Jr. and rewarded by gifts from Chidvilasananda. (Maybe if she would have let him step down when he wanted to, things wouldn't have gotten to the mess they did, but she couldn't do that because how would it look?) And then you can handle having some of the rooms and phones tapped and having conversations that question being reported back to those that need to know. And then you can handle the sexual abuse that George Afif perpetrated upon a teenaged girl of SY and continued to have a great deal of power in the ashram afterwards. (Nityananda Jr. wanted to get rid of him at this point, look who won that power struggle.) And then you can handle the shame placed on the HIV positive gay men who come to the ashram. And most importantly of all, then you can handle the emotional abuse that may come to you at any moment and you will know that you responsible for it because this is what the guru wants for you.

Dear Watcher, whatever you do, keep your doubts to yourself. Do not share them with a friend who is in SY or you may be the next target.

By the way, if you would like to email me and discuss your reactions to the site, you are welcome to do so and it will be kept confidential.

9 Feb 97