[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”0px||||false|false”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.9.2″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ sticky_enabled=”0″ width_last_edited=”on|phone” width_tablet=”95%”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ _module_preset=”default”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.9.2″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Arial||||||||” text_text_color=”#663300″ text_font_size=”16px”]<\/p>\n
My name is Alison Cliatt. I am 29 years old and I live in Oakland,<\/span> It has taken me the better part of 10 years to be be able to speak<\/span> But now I speak. What happened to me in Siddha Yoga almost cost me<\/span> What followed was an affair that Ram characterized as tantric – he<\/span> I went along with it. Ram represented the Guru. Everyone around me<\/span> He also told me he had had other affairs. One was with a woman who<\/span> Ram told me he was writing to Gurumayi to tell her he wanted to<\/span> And then, one day, Ram told me Gurumayi said no, he could not divorce<\/span> I realize I’ve been telling you alot about what Ram did. I should<\/span> Well, I was suffering. There was a part of me that knew that this<\/span> I wasn’t able to believe that Gurumayi would allow someone with a big<\/span> Gurumayi knew that Ram Butler had a history of abusing his power as a<\/span> I was so confused. When I wrote to Gurumayi I never got a response.<\/span> Richard Gillette, Gurumayi’s resident therapist, met with my mother<\/span> Ram Butler got therapy.<\/span><\/p>\n I got nothing. Every one I knew thought Ram Butler was a great guy.<\/span><\/p>\n Being betrayed by Gurumayi and Ram I was cut off from what had been<\/span> I quit my job, I quit Siddha Yoga. I quit seeing my therapist<\/span> Gurumayi knew that George was raising hell with the girls, with his<\/span> When I told Ram I was having a hard time living my life he told me<\/span> Ram told me if I was ever going to say anything about our affair I<\/span> My life was a wreck. My health was a wreck. Ram told me to go back<\/span> So, I suffered alone.<\/span><\/p>\n There is so much to say…..<\/span><\/p>\n Since May of 2001 my boyfriend and I have been challenging the Ashram<\/span> The truth needs to be told. People who hear about Siddha Yoga<\/span> I believe that there should be an open investigation of the abuses of<\/span> Now I give my support to the wounded to the survivor in me, and in<\/span> Together we can bring awareness to these issue so that there can be a<\/span> Siddha Yoga doesn’t have a trademark on the truth.<\/span><\/p>\n Radha – thank you for telling your story here. I’ve been wanting to<\/span> I hope other women will read this and tell their truth. I don’t want<\/span> Even though it has been very difficult SY did not kill me or my<\/span> I know that Ram behaved the way he did because he was suffering.<\/span><\/p>\n It must be true that Gurumayi is suffering and that is why she has<\/span> Just like I don’t want to suffer I wish that Gurumayi and Ram and<\/span> I write this and the letters I have sent to the SY managers because<\/span> Peace,<\/span><\/p>\n Alison Cliatt<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" My name is Alison Cliatt. I am 29 years old and I live in Oakland,California. It has taken me the better part of 10 years to be be able to speakopenly about being abused and manipulated by Gurumayi and herteachers. But now I speak. What happened to me in Siddha Yoga almost cost memy life. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"page-template-blank.php","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-496","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\n
California.<\/span><\/p>\n
openly about being abused and manipulated by Gurumayi and her<\/span>
teachers.<\/span><\/p>\n
my life. For years I have lived in a silent darkness of shame and<\/span>
guilt. Trapped in a self destrcutive numbness that came from<\/span>
internalizing the betrayal of trust that took place when Ram Butler<\/span>
invited me to his hotel room and after talking for awhile asked me to<\/span>
lie down on the bed with him.<\/span><\/p>\n
told me I would be the next author of the Correspondence Course – he<\/span>
said he’d known it since I was a young girl and had been writing the<\/span>
course just for me. Ram would call me from his house in Sadhana Kutir<\/span>
every night and we would talk for hours. He made allusions that I was<\/span>
going through what Gurumayi went through with Baba.<\/span><\/p>\n
revered him as a holy man; as someone who had realized the highest<\/span>
teachings of the Guru. He told me Gurumayi had sent him to me. He<\/span>
told me that Gurumayi knew everything. She knew about our being<\/span>
together and it was OK with her. I flew to meet him in different<\/span>
cities where he was giving workshops.<\/span><\/p>\n
lived in the Ashram. Another was a woman he met at one of his<\/span>
workshops. He reassured me that she had recently come to the Ashram<\/span>
to let him know she was married and pregenant with her first child.<\/span><\/p>\n
divorce his wife and marry me.<\/span><\/p>\n
his wife and marry me. We were to stop our relationship. Ram was<\/span>
not supposed to communicate with me for a year. Ram follwed that by<\/span>
saying we would stay in touch. I was the love of his life. Now I<\/span>
would just have to transition from being the girlfriend to the<\/span>
student. He told me if I suffered at all it was because of my<\/span>
pride. He told me I seduced him. He told me to write a letter to<\/span>
Gurumayi telling her I was sorry and that it was my fault.<\/span><\/p>\n
tell you what I was doing – but that’s the new part – I’ve held all<\/span>
that back for so long.<\/span><\/p>\n
was wrong, but at the time,I could not reist it. Ram represented<\/span>
everything I thought I was striving for in life.<\/span><\/p>\n
problem to go around abusing other people, but that is what she did.<\/span><\/p>\n
teacher of Siddha Yoga to seduce young women. She accepted that kind<\/span>
of behavior. Ram even told me that Gurumayi once told him that he<\/span>
could have been a great Guru but the bad press caused by his behavior<\/span>
would have ruined it.<\/span><\/p>\n
I’ve been writing letters ever since. No one will respond to me in<\/span>
writing.<\/span><\/p>\n
to tell her the situation was my fault. But he never spoke one word<\/span>
to me, never asked what I went through or how I was doing.<\/span><\/p>\n
my source of comfort in life, the place I trusted to learn about<\/span>
myself.<\/span><\/p>\n
beacuse I couldn’t tell her what had happened because she already<\/span>
thought Siddha Yoga was not a safe place because of the experience<\/span>
which had brought me to therapy years earlier which was that George<\/span>
Afif had singled me out as one of his girls when I was 17…bought me<\/span>
gifts, tried to kiss me during a break from Darshan seva…I know<\/span>
another former darshan girl, who was 16 or 17, that ended up having<\/span>
sex with George Afif in Gurumayi’s house in Ganeshpuri. Gurumayi<\/span>
walked in on them. She let Geroge stay, but the girl was told to<\/span>
leave darshan seva – she left the Ashram. A saw her a few years<\/span>
later and she told me what had happened.<\/span><\/p>\n
crazy projects, with his lavish lifestyle…one night after darshan<\/span>
he rented out a movie theatre in Middletown and drove a bunch of us,<\/span>
including Namdev Hayes, to see Terminator 2. Ram was the one that<\/span>
had talked me through that one, he said George was gone, Gurumayi<\/span>
loved me and didn’t want me to feel bad…I hated myself, I hated<\/span>
Siddha Yoga, and yet I kept going back. I hated Gurumayi and at the<\/span>
same time I was hoping that there was a good explanation for<\/span>
everything I had seen and lived through.<\/span><\/p>\n
that affairs like ours happened in all organizations. Clinton was on<\/span>
TV at that time dealing with his affair with Monica Lewinsky. Ram<\/span>
told me when he saw those parts of the news he was glad he didn’t<\/span>
have to go through that.<\/span><\/p>\n
should wait until his daughter got a little older. My parent’s<\/span>
divorced when I was was two (my dad had an affair) so Ram said to me<\/span>
think what a difference it could have made in your life if your dad<\/span>
had been around a few years longer.<\/span><\/p>\n
to my college boyfriend. And you know what? I did. It was awful. I<\/span>
couldn’t get close to anyone because I was protecting Ram and<\/span>
Gurumayi and Sidda Yoga. Ram told me thousands of people read the<\/span>
course. He couldn’t be exposed it would be a disaster for Siddha<\/span>
Yoga.<\/span><\/p>\n
to communicate with us about the history of abuse in Siddha Yoga.<\/span><\/p>\n
deserve to know that the stories about Baba and the girls are true.<\/span>
Affairs and abuse of power are a deep and ramapant issue within the<\/span>
Siddha Yoga community.<\/span><\/p>\n
power. For years I supported Gurumayi with my time, my money and my<\/span>
heart – and during that time people were getting hurt.<\/span><\/p>\n
anyone who has suffered from abuse or injustice.<\/span><\/p>\n
resolution, a peace.<\/span><\/p>\n
say something here for so long…you helped me.<\/span><\/p>\n
another person to go through an experience like this. It has changed<\/span>
the course of my life in a dramatic way.<\/span><\/p>\n
spirit. In some way it made me stronger because of the depth of<\/span>
darkness within myself I had to face.<\/span><\/p>\n
allowed the culture of abuse that surrounds her.<\/span><\/p>\n
everyone can be free from suffering.<\/span><\/p>\n
these issues are a part of my life. I don’t want to hide from them<\/span>
like Gurumayi does, I finally accept them, and now want to resolve<\/span>
them in a way that can benefit everyone, not just the few people<\/span>
trying to protect the image of Siddha Yoga and Gurumayi.<\/span><\/p>\n